Holidays in a Broken World
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire; Jack Frost nipping at your nose...[1]
Children squeal in delight, mesmerized by the twinkling lights and Grandpa’s Christmas train. Filled with wonder, the holidays pull our hearts forward to the promise of eternity. Yet, for many, the holidays are a painful reminder of everything that is broken in the world. Throughout the year, people pour themselves into a myriad of things - work, hobbies, entertainments, and even service to the Lord. When the holidays hit, the numb of the year is replaced by a deep pain that floods the soul. Even many years after the death of a loved one, Christmas uncovers an ache inexpressible. When divorce has scattered the family, where will the holidays be spent? Will the wayward child come home? If he does, will he have another outburst and ruin the whole occasion? The distance separates; the loneliness is palpable. Health issues stand in the way of hosting one more Christmas. A barren woman’s arms remain empty, and estrangement in relationships are punctuated by the empty seat at the table. The holidays are often a painful reminder of everything that is wrong in this world.
Believers don’t have to shy away from the hard realities of life or try to move on to happier things. Taking an honest look at this sin-cursed world, it’s okay to say that this holiday season is terribly broken with all of the loss, grief, estrangement, and unfulfilled longing. Many are tempted to want to move through pain and onto thanksgiving and praise, as though the major keys are more beautiful to God than the minor keys.[2] But lament and worship are not mutually exclusive, as though we need to deny the brokenness of this world in order to worship God aright. Lament is worship. The fall of Genesis 3 and the subsequent curse are the painful reality of every person under the sun. In a sense, everyone lives and moves and has their being in the “Valley of Baca” - the Valley of Tears (Psalm 84:5-7). For the believer, an eternal spring awaits.
Our way to heaven lies through a valley of Baca, but even that may be made a well if we make a due improvement of the comforts God has provided for the pilgrims to the heavenly city.[3]
How do we celebrate the holidays, when life is so terribly broken this side of heaven?
Honesty – It’s okay to see the brokenness of your particular pain and talk to the Lord honestly about it. Talk to Him about the realities of this sin-cursed world, how it has intruded into your life, and sent you to your knees. Acknowledge that He is sovereign and good over these heartaches...but be honest. Sometimes it doesn’t feel like it. “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief” (Mark 9:24). The Lord already knows your pain and struggle, so talk to Him honestly about it.
Lament – Taking these prayers further, you can lament the brokenness of this life. The holidays punctuate the pain. Cry out to the Lord who is near to the brokenhearted and saves all those who are crushed in spirit (Ps. 34:8). Psalm 13 is a great model for prayer in this season of anguish. Ask God your “why” questions and your “how long” questions. You will be in good company with the psalmists who have gone before and even Jesus’s cries to the Father. Beg God for your need. It’s okay to live in the minor key in this painful season. A friend recently reminded me that the minor key songs are just as beautiful (if not more) as the major key songs. Remember, the Lord will never leave you, never forsake you. He is with you! Your cries are an expression of the faith that He has given to you, so keep running to Him in the brokenness of this holiday season.
The Word – The Holy Spirit is our eternal Comforter, the Paraclete, given to God’s people as a Helper, Comforter and Guide. How does He comfort us? Through the Word of God. As you lament before the Lord, keep reading God’s perfect Word, which the Spirit will use to revive your soul (Psalm 19:7-11). The Psalms are a wonderful place to camp in seasons of pain. The Gospels also will help you to see your merciful Savior, who walked this painful road before you, yet without sin. That’s why He is such a merciful and faithful High Priest who can help you in your time of need (Heb. 4:14-16).
Gather – God’s people are never meant to face the brokenness of this life alone. Go to church. Gather with other Christians. Seek out others who are walking this broken road and walk together. Pray for one another. Invite them to your holiday table. Seek to be a blessing to them, and let them be a blessing to you. They need your minor key melody, just as much as you need their minor key harmony. Push against the despair by gathering and comforting one another. The God of all comfort brings comfort to our aching hearts, as we comfort others.
Worship – Psalm 13:5-6 tell us of the psalmist’s worship, amidst unanswered questions and no apparent resolution to his prayers.
But I have trusted in Your faithful love;
my heart will rejoice in Your deliverance.
I will sing to the Lord
because He has treated me generously.[4]
This is not a moving on quickly from the minor key to the major key. It is a choice in the midst of the minor key song to remember the past – I have trusted – in Hesed, the “faithful love,” of the Lord. It is also a cry of future hope – my heart will rejoice – even if it’s not now. There will be a day when every broken place will be made right, because of Jesus. He walked this valley of tears before us, living the perfect life, dying the death that we deserved on the cross, and rising victoriously on the third day. He knows our pain. And Jesus will come again, restoring all things broken, bringing us home to Himself for eternity. No more tears, no more pain, no more death, no more sickness, no more shattered relationships. The groanings of this life will cease in His glorious presence.
We walk through the “Valley of Baca” now, but then it will be an eternal spring (Psalm 84:5-7). We will sing to the Lord for all eternity, because He has treated us so generously in His Son (Psalm 13:6). May our Triune God – Father, Son and Holy Spirit - comfort you this holiday season, even as you experience the realities of living in a broken world. You are not alone.
[1] The King Cole Trio, “The Christmas Song,” 1961.
[2] Mark Vroegop, Dark Clouds Deep Mercy, (Wheaton, IL: Crossway, 2019).
[3] Matthew Henry, Matthew Henry’s Commentary on the Whole Bible, vol. 3 (Carol Stream, IL: Hendrickson Publishers, Inc. 1991), p. 456
[4] Version: Holman Christian Standard Bible